Voice Part: Bass
Is that Donald Trump? No! It’s Sam Gross wearing a decapitated teddy bear on his head and wagging his pointer finger! Common misconception: Sam Gross is not gross! In fact, he smells like an aqua reef. Another common misconception: that beachy smell is not “cologne” but rather fantastic deodorant! Esquire Gross hails from the metropolis wasteland that is NYC. Naturally, being from the Big Apple, he used to be on Broadway as the alternate for every ensemble member in Cats. One time, every ensemble member fell ill, so Sam played every ensemble cat. It was quite a spectacle. This year, Sam turned down a Supreme Court justiceship, the US presidency, and a 5 million dollar modeling contract with J.Crew in order to join Magevet. While we support that decision, we still think Sam is capable of immense greatness, which is why he introduces every song at our concerts.
Sam Gross initially began his trek to stardom as a toddler who found enjoyment by tending to his cattle whilst polishing, in a precise order, his 47 pairs of loafers and rehearsing victory speeches for various award shows. The rehearsal came in handy, when, at the auspicious age of 4, Sam was internationally recognized as a mock-trial prodigy. This means, folks, that in addition to having much cooler socks than you, you shouldn’t try to argue with Sam Gross. Especially if you work at Best Buy and sell him a faulty laptop.